Sunday, December 18, 2011

2011 Reflection- Accepting the Call

At the end of every year, most people spend time reflecting on their triumphs and defeats, their accomplishments, and unsuccessfull attempts. As 2011 is swiftly coming to an end, I am following suit with the old traditions of yearly reflection.

I usually learn at least one new trade or pick up one new hobbie every year. I'm kind of one of those people who likes to be a jack of all trades. However this year as I reflect I didn't do any of that. In fact, I stepped a way from the things that I had previously picked up. In 2010, I started learning how to properly apply make-up and doing youtube tutorial videos. This year was nothing like any other year.

I didn't pick up any new hobbies, no new trades, didn't take on new adventures, or a new vacation spots.  However, I  did embark upon facilitating a University Expereience for my church home. This was a vision given to me to assist my Pastor in materializing his vision for his church to come to pass. So far it has been a success. It doesn't have full participation yet, but those who do participate are very dedicated. I am anxiously awaiting what was shown to me by God to completely materialize.

I did also take some steps to walk in to the my calling. For many of you who know me, I have said a million times, that many have always said that I would end up a "preacher's wife" and also an Evangelist. For years, I didn't really believe it or shall I say recieve it; however it didn't matter what I believed or recieved. My husband, has been actively working in his calling for ministry since April of this year. It was like one day he wasn't a preacher and the next day he was on the grind, teaching all the time. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the prophecy would  come to pass.

In the summer of 2010, I had ask God to clarify if He was calling me into ministry. I did it with the hopes of hearing nothing. I asked for God to reveal it through my husband. My husband had told me already that he knew I was being called to teach God's word. I ask for my husband to be the one to confirm it because he isn't a man that repeats the obvious. And the joke was on me. I ask God on a Saturday. That following Monday out of the blue my husband calls me while he is at work, crying. He called to tell me that God has so much in store for me and that I was great woman of God and that the ministry in me had to go forth. Of course he says "I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I had to call you"! I just cried the whole day and humbly accepted the confirmation of the call.

This year my church family embarked upon a Daniel's Fast and this is where the clarity came into play. I really began to seek God on what He was calling me to do specifically. In a previous blog, I explained that God gave me the word "Discipleship". But that still wasn't enough. In the second  quarter of the year, Prophet after Prophet began to prophesy the exact same things. Even people without titles kept pulling me to the side telling me the same thing the Prophets where telling. Over and over I heard "Ministry must go forth this year"! And its finally clear, after much running, praying and more running, that I am to teach the Word of God. Other things were prophesied about the ministry God has called me to,  that I have not yet been able to wrap my mind around nor do I see the capacity for. However if its the Word of the Lord, I will just put it on shelf and wait for God to manifest His will for me. In the third quarter of the 2011, I gave my pastor my first sermon to critique and go over. I stop running, because clearly there is no where to run to when you are running from God. I'm learning to just get into obedience and just wait for God to do what only He can. This one I  am not really all that anxious about. When the times comes, the door will open and I will walk into it. In the meantime Im just preparing myself. Furthermore I'm am a firm believer, that the greatest message I could ever preach to someone is the example that I live. Being called to the pulpit is great, but its also nullified if the life I live outside of the pulpit is contrary to being in it.

As you can see my mind has been fixed on God, ministry and the will He has for my life. Other than those three, I have just been preoccupied with making sure my family is built on solid foundation and that God is leading us. As much as I would like to say that this year I was unproductive because I didn't do what I normally did. I was indeed more productive than I have ever been. Finding out my purpose in life and what I am called to do is productivity at its best. I now know what I do and don't have time for in life. More importantly, I no longer have to blindly find my way to God's will for me. Trying everything to see what feels right.

This was by far the worst year I have every lived and the hardest. There were days that I really would have just rather been dead. Yet even with all of the oppostion, I can still say that this year wasn't a total lost. In even though it was the worst year I had ever seen, it was the most important year of my life. This was my year of transitioning me towards my tranformation.


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